A movie about reuniting stolen children with their families, brought to you by the people who gleefully ed separating immigrant families at the border.

Splits the difference between QAnon bait and regular flavor right-wing Christian “conservative cinema.” Exploitation movie filtered through the church doesn’t hit right but the bigger issue is all the boring cliches

Disingenuous in several different ways but I like that people think it’s well-meaning and important instead of a misleading sensationalized grift lining people’s pockets and doing fuck all to stop trafficking but these folks have a tough time with reality

False advertising (no reptile)

Finally a movie that dares to suggest, "drugs can be good"

A movie about committing to the bit

“What if SUCCESSION was a feature-length broad comedy about billionaires ruining the world via AI?” It would be insufferable!

Back in my day, fan fiction was on Tumblr and stayed on Tumblr! FIFTY SHADES opened a door

Well it has a drug-induced hallucination scene so it’s definitely a studio comedy

“If a bomb lands on this place, John Denver’s back on top!” 

The fly-on-the-wall footage inside the room makes this indispensable even if it’s standard fare up until that point; I want to list all the incredible moments / interactions but I won’t rob anyone of that joy. Bob Dylan’s arc from too uncomfortable to participate to nailing his part is definitely a highlight. 

I would watch an entire follow-up doc on why the fuck Dan Aykroyd was there.

It is a crime against the horror genre and the communal moviegoing experience that most won’t experience this in a packed multiplex on opening night with an audience full of ORPHAN heads losing their fucking minds

Her name is Reality, and the movie takes place (largely) in real time via a verbatim transcript of her interrogation. We love a title with a double-meaning!

This is good, could've easily been flat and stagey but the direction is compelling and makes the whole situation feel so intense. Great work from Sydney Sweeney and also her eyes

At 1 hour 50 minutes, this is somehow the longest movie ever made

However many dick jokes you think there are in this movie, quadruple it. 

The premise is really fun and it starts off strong but really loses steam as it goes. John Cena is great and sells a lot of dumb shit that shouldn’t work. Funny enough, until it isn’t, mostly because it’s repetitive