mike hotdog Patron

godlytoddler on Serializd & Backloggd

Favorite films

  • Casablanca
  • Witness
  • Somewhere in Time
  • My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done

All
  • Antrum

  • The Descent: Part 2

    ★★

  • Rarity: Retro Video Game Collecting in the Modern Era

    ★★

  • An Honest Liar

    ★★★★★

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Death Wish II

1982

★★★★★ Liked Watched

Few statements are more powerful than "Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus present" and this film perfectly demonstrates why.

Leaning into every wrong lesson and instinct from the first Death Wish, this new Cannon Films iteration is meaner, uglier, nastier, far more violent and rape-happy, and even more reactionary. Swapping the grungy 1970s New York streets for sunny 1980s Los Angeles means the city is different, but the punks are just as just as bloodthirsty, and just as horny—maybe even worse.…

Mad Max

1979

★★★★★ Liked Rewatched

The world goes to shit and drags the last good man down with it. A masterpiece of independent filmmaking, borderline pornographic in how it depicts revving engines and rambunctious chases. People call this "boring," "nonsensical," or a "slow burn" which is absolutely ludicrous to me. This is a perfectly edited, gorgeously shot, extremely straightforward film (with a phenomenal score to boot) that just so happens to be lugging around a heavy pair of enormous chrome testes. Action cinema simply could never have been the same afterwards.

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Antrum

2018

Watched

Relentless and pervasive "film school" vibes radiating off this. Hol up, you mean to tell me two young filmmakers who met in film school made a low-budget horror film in the woods of Southern California? Say it ain't so.

The attempt to off the film-within-the-film as a piece of lost media from the 1970s is laughable at best. It hits every mark: obvious digital cinematography, bad lighting, bad sound, obvious filters to emulate grain or scratches (but no cigarette…

The Descent: Part 2

2009

★★ Watched

Sure, it's contrived and ugly and it makes very little sense relative to its predecessor and it's full of horrible fake American accents and it's a movie about the orcs that live in the Mines of Moria with worse make-up, BUT consider this: the first one isn't very good either.

Minus half a star for some of the laziest sound editing I've ever heard in my life. Using straight-up unfiltered, unprocessed animal noises from a stock library as SFX vocalizations…

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EuroTrip

2004

★★★ Liked 12

I'm 10 years late on this one, but this movie is funnier than it has any right to be.

2025 edit: MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG NOOOOOOOOO!! RIP to a queen

Brothers

2009

★★★½ Liked 4

Everybody Is Emotionally Disturbed: The Film

In an alternate universe, Ben Affleck adapted and directed this film, set it in Boston, got Casey Affleck to play Sam, and then cast himself as Tommy. Can you see it? I can see it.