Baby Driver

2017

★★★★½ Liked 83

Man...this hit the spot. 

Life was so good when this hit theaters. Fresh out of my first year of film school, Youtube was just a little hobby at the time, I was working at a small ice cream shop called The Dairy Delight. Opening weekend me and a friend went to see this in the middle of a hot summer day and I was like "man this is such a first-year-out-of-film-school-and-working-at-an-ice-cream-shop-in-the-middle-of-the-summer type of thing for me to do!" The stakes…

Allegiant

2016

½ 32

Halfway through this I got irrationally upset. This Ansel Elgort marathon was for a video (obviously) but it still felt like such a waste of time. There are so many things I’ve wanted to watch and read with the time I’ve had in quarantine. So much schoolwork this week that I’ve put 70% into rather than 100% for the sake of making time to get through these films. Anytime you get to a point where you’re watching a movie and…

Jonathan

2018

★½ 6

There's something I appreciate about this movie. An overlong shitty Black Mirror episode? Sure. But judging by how they went about telling it, the filmmakers clearly, uh, cared. Just wish they did more to make me do the same. The color palette of the poster isn't the only thing this has in common with your typical sleep podcast.

Men, Women & Children

2014

★★ 24

20th Century Women but with men and children. And also without everything good about 20th Century Women. This is nothing like 20th Century Women. Ya know what just go watch 20th Century Women. 


This is an awful review but at least it’s more interesting than the movie itself!


*No ratings on any Ansel movies for now, don’t wanna spoil my video*

Carrie

2013

★★ 3

Watching this before watching the original (I just didn’t have the time) is gonna go down as one of the worst things I’ve done. But hey, what a killer soundtrack brought to you by the Vampire Weekend Pandora station!!

November Criminals

2017

★½ 15

I think that pissed off dad spoke for all of us when he screamed “WHY DO YOU HAVE A PAGER??” in Ansel’s face.

Billionaire Boys Club

2018

38

I wonder how it feels to be....uh...(checks notes) James Cox. Directing a blatant Scorsese ripoff and making $287 opening weekend, then having to watch Todd Phillips make over a billion dollars and getting nominated for a bunch of Oscars after pulling the same trick.

Insurgent

2015

Watched

Not doing star ratings for the remaining Ansel films I gotta get through.

You mean to tell me I have to watch ANOTHER Divergent film after this?

Divergent

2014

★½ 29

I seeing the poster for this in high school and thinking “I am staying as far away from this as possible!” Attractive people in a generic stance with a generic title in front of a generic sci-fi background? AND it’s an adaptation of a YA novel? When I realized Ansel was in it I immediately went “Oh come on!”

So this is simultaneously better than I expected and as watered down as expected. I’m trying to be a bit more…

The Fault in Our Stars

2014

★½ 36

You know you made something awful when Laura Dern, Willem Dafoe, AND Charli XCX can't save it. No better way to start an Ansel Elgort binge than by realizing one film deep that maybe it really is just his looks.